I read a similar post the other day on another mommy’s blog and it made me feel like my life was normal and it made me feel like I wasn’t alone in this. Life as a mother of a 2 year old is not easy and is probably the most humbling experience I have ever been through. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and just want to remember these times and document the good and the bad in our family blog. I’m sure one day I will look back and tell Layton the many stories and things he tried to do and get away with at this age and we will laugh about them together.
Layton is a very defiant, spirited, intelligent, curious, outgoing, strong willed toddler but I have to remember he is only 28 months old even though he thinks he is 16 already. He can be so loving one minute and he tells me constantly “Mommy I just love you so much.” These are the moments I cherish and boy do I love him but then the next minute he is pushing me to my limits. Some days it feels like I’m constantly disciplining and redirecting Layton all day long and my patience is stretched to the limit. I don’t want him to remember his mommy as the one that corrected him all the time. I want to be the fun mommy that creates a loving safe environment with structure and consistency. Most days it is hard to find that balance. We have realized that time out works best with Layton because he hates being secluded and hates having to stay in one spot. Don’t get me wrong he gets his fair share of spankings too but sometimes I just feel like it doesn’t even phase him and he goes right back to what he was doing. I guess the hardest part is I know he knows what he is doing but he likes to test me because he is smart and wants to see what I’m going to do about it.
I’m just a little nervous as to what will happen when we add a newborn to the mix. Will Layton act worse? Will he be jealous? Will he love his new role as a big brother? Will he learn that he has to be gentle around Molly? All these thoughts have been wondering around in my head the last few weeks. Clifton and I had lunch today because he was in San Antonio which never happens and we actually had an hour to talk without any interruptions. He was telling me this morning Layton was throwing a fit about having to pick up his puzzle pieces he had thrown all over the bathroom floor. He asked him “Why do you keep acting like this?” and he looked up at him and said “Is mommy going to leave me after she has Molly?” Talk about my heart breaking into a million pieces. It still brings tears to my eyes when I picture him asking his daddy this. Poor baby feels like he is being replaced by Molly. He said, ”Will mommy ever come back to me after she goes to the hospital?” I know he is trying to make sense of everything in his little 2 year old mind but wow I had no idea he was feeling this way. He has been asking a lot of questions lately about who is going to the hospital what we will do there and so on every single day. He is so afraid we are going to leave him. I guess I need to be better about explaining everything to him. I wrote this a few days ago and never got around to posting it but his behavior has improved a little. I've learned that some battles are just not worth fighting and he likes to do most things his way which is frustrating but he is just learning to be independent. We have spent a lot of time the last few days playing together and he has even helped me organize some things in Molly's room.
Some precious things I don’t want to forget about this stage are:
- We got a postcard in the mail the other day from Amanda and Jerrod in Africa and that night as we were laying in his bed he said, “Mommy I think we need to pray for Amanda and Jerrod tonight but I don’t know what to say. Can you tell me what to say?” So I said it and he repeated a little prayer after me it was the sweetest thing ever. It made me a proud mommy that he is already wanting to talk to Jesus as a 2 year old.
- He tells me something and then says “Does that sound like a plan mommy?”
- He wakes up every morning and the first thing he says is “Where we gonna go today?” He loves to know what he is doing and where he is going for the day.
- He is really into stuffed animals right now and brings at least two to our bed every morning when he wakes up to watch cartoons. He also has at least ten in his bed every night with him.
- Another phrase he uses a lot right now is just a few more minutes. Mommy can I play outside for a few more minutes, can I watch t.v. for a few more minutes, can I play in the bathtub for a few more minutes. I guess I use this phrase a lot too.
- We have tried to let him sit in a chair at the table like a big boy with us but he just isn’t quite ready for that. He constantly gets up and walks around and just is so distracted. We have continued to use a high chair and he eats so well and it makes dinner time so much more pleasant for all of us. Hopefully soon we can put it away until we need it for Molly.
- He only likes me to give him a bath at night if we are both home. I have always been the one to do it and there have been a few nights I’ve asked Clifton to help me out and I can hear him crying from the kitchen “I want mommy to give me a bath.” This is going to be more challenging as my belly continues to grow.
- I asked him what he wanted to be for Halloween the other day he said he was going to ask Santa to bring him a pilot costume. LOL he is getting his holidays mixed up. Ever since we flew to Dallas everything is his airplane and he is always a pilot. He likes to pretend the couch is his cockpit.
- He loves to wear his A&M shirt that has a football player on it. We just bought it for him in College Station 2 weeks ago and I think he has worn it 4 times already.
I finally got Clifton to take a picture of me this week. This is at 26 weeks and 5 days.
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